Monday, June 13, 2011


Do you know me? If you do, you know I love to plan. I love lists. I love organization. Nailing things down is my cuppa tea. Yessiree, nothing tickles me more than anticipating what comes next and preparing for that.

That's why this waiting around is so tough for me. I realize my last post was a sad one. Hang with me people. I'm a tough mama. This is a marathon-length roller-coaster ride. Just 'cause I'm laughing with the wind in my hair one day, doesn't mean I'm not going to be crying in my soup the next. It's all what they call "part of the process." (Have I mentioned that I think "the process" can go to hell?)

It's been a month since I had that MRI that showed the "points of interest" in my breast. A whole month has passed already!? A month of having no flippin' idea what's next for me - first it could've been anything from "Whoops! False alarm! Carry on." to "Oy. Call your family lawyer and make sure your stuff's in order." Luckily, I'm way to the "carry on" end of the continuum, but still, there are many questions to be answered and some of the answers might have a deep impact on my summer of fun.

But luckily, Thursday's only 3 days away. I won't have all the answers Thursday, but I'll have some marching orders and next steps - I'll come away with a list of to-do's! And that'll give me comfort 1) 'cause as aforementioned, I'm a list lovah and 2) it'll make me feel like I'm taking an active part in kicking this cancer and moving forward.

That's right - I was emailing a dear friend last night and remembering how great I felt the last time around when I had my surgery, chemo, radiation and hormone therapy plan all laid out. I felt even better when I started chemo - even though before that, just the thought of chemo made me sick. I was working toward an end point. For better or for worse, whatever happened, I had my sights set on the goal (no cancer) and a plan for how best to get there. Don't get me wrong. It was scary. This bulldog litigator even learned to MEDITATE to calm herself. But I was finally moving that ball forward.

Stay tuned for kickoff!



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