Song for today . . . .

OK, how funny is this? I'm blogging from the cancer suite at MGH. So many changes in 10 years, including my super-slim laptop and free WiFi for us frequent flyers.

A few minutes 'til showtime, friends. Had a killer workout, and a luxe lunch with the fabulous DI . . . around the corner from MGH at one of my favorite restaurants in the city. A nice way to start an afternoon, don't you think? Now I sit and wait for a parade of experts to come meet me. Got my johnny on and I'm ready for action.

And while I wait, I'll blog 4 U.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about picking an anthem for the summer - thought maybe "Firework" by Katy Perry might be it, but actually, I think this one, "Jump" by Madonna, fits better. It was part of this a.m.'s workout mix, and the lyrics struck me as being particularly appropriate:

"Jump"

There's only so much you can learn in one place

The more that I wait, the more time that I waste

I haven't got much time to waste

It's time to make my way

I'm not afraid of what I'll face

But I'm afraid to stay

I'm going down my road and I can make it alone

I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own

[Chorus]

Are you ready to jump

Get ready to jump

Don't ever look back oh baby

Yes, I'm ready to jump

Just take my hand

get ready to jump

We learned out lesson from the start

My sisters and me

The only thing you can depend on

Is your family

Life's gonna drop you down like the limbs from a tree

It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

[Chorus]

Are you ready?

There's only so much you can learn in one place

The more that you wait

The more time that you waste

I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own

It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own

I can make it alone [repeat]

(my sisters and me)

[Chorus X2]

If you're a cancer patient or have every been one, you probably know there are two points in time that make you feel like you're jumping off a cliff: right before you start treatment and just after you finish treatment. These are the times when you have no flippin' clue what lies ahead for you. You're floundering, trying to make sense of your new reality - either your treatment reality or your "new normal" after treatment.

While working out this morning, I was remembering how minutes after I was definitively diagnosed 10 years ago, I said to DI "well, now I know what I want to do - help young women with breast cancer," and I did. I spent many years serving, connecting with and advocating for young women in the Boston area . . . it brought me so much joy and helped mend my very broken and disappointed heart.

What'll it be this time? I have no idea, yet. I have made so many changes in my life in the last 10 years and am so, so happy with where I stand - as I said to another dear friend this past weekend, I have no regrets. That in itself was another post-cancer goal of mine, though it took longer to gel for me. Since then, I have said over and over again - whether I have 50 days or 5,050 days left on this earth, I want to live each one to the fullest and without regret. So in that, I've succeeded.

For now, I'll just jump . . . . and see where I land. Wheeeeeeee!

xo

Sarah