Friday, September 23, 2011

Home again, home again, jiggety-jig

The Weeble is back. She is banged up, bruised, heavily medicated, super itchy, slightly smelly, definitely greasy (her hair, that is), but hugely relieved to have one major step in this process completed.

I'm going to keep this short, because just walking to the bathroom tires me out - so typing and thinking is a major undertaking. There are so many things for me to write about from the last few days . . . that fateful ride to MGH early Monday a.m., the last-minute surgical surprises that awaited us, waking up in recovery, the vigorous advocating I sometimes had to do for myself, some freaky drug reactions and how I am no longer going to classify myself as a needle-phobe. I have learned more about myself in the last four days than I could've ever imagined. I knew I was strong before - but this experience my friends, was like spinach for Popeye.

But first, I want to thank you guys. I will sometime try to express the joy I received from reading each and every one of your well-wishes, comments and cheers while I was struggling to take it minute-by-minute in the hospital. I honestly thought of you all boosting me up when the going got tough. Maybe it seems like not all that much to shoot off an email, to post a comment on Facebook or to leave word on the blog - but you need to know that each one of those lifted me up in a way you cannot imagine. Your words, thoughts and prayers were like little wings that helped me fly me over whatever challenge I was facing at the moment.

And I also want to publicly shout out to my beloved, my oh! so beloved husband. These are the "for worse" times of marriage. This is our second go-'round with "for worse." My first diagnosis in November, 2001 came just one week before our first wedding anniversary. As we approach our 11th anniversary, DI remains my quiet rock, my coach, my most valuable player. We make such a good team because he is such a great man. Smart, supportive, loving, kind, and helpful - he is ready to jump in and do whatever needs to be done to make things go more smoothly. He will be mortified that I wrote this, so I'll stop now, but let's just say I'm more in love with him than ever. Despite the shitty health hand I've been dealt in life, in love, I've got a royal flush.

So, what's next? Spontaneous sleeping. Watching Ellen and Anderson Cooper and bad chick flicks on-demand. Maybe reading a book, although holding a book right now is still an undertaking. And a little more anxious waiting. You see, the fat lady hasn't sung yet my friends. Although my node was clear, the pathology from my breast tissue's not back. And until that gets sliced into wafer-thin, prosciutto-like slices and analyzed by the great minds in MGH pathology, there is still the chance that chemo or some other treatment might be indicated. My oncologist put the chances at "remote," but they are there, and I won't rest fully 'til I know.

But for now, I'll keep the worry at bay by taking more baby steps, bolstering myself with a million pillows, enjoying the fantastic food that's coming to my back door every day, and reveling in the comfort and love of my family and friends.




  1. She's back!!! Yes, you do get the Popeye award (but you must share the "look" with G!) Well, hopefully you won't need to prove your mettle in the surgical arena ever again, Sarah. Enough already! That was a lovely tribute to DI and to your marriage. It brought tears to my eyes. How is L doing? Good luck with your shower, and enjoy the TV and movies - and when you are ready I will bring you every gossip mag I can find. I am sure I will not be alone in praying that your pathology comes back clean. Love you, Sarah!
    Lindsay P

  2. I wholeheartedly agree on the DI front...props to him. You guys are a GREAT team in all this chaos. Tell him that we miss him on FB and the blog already. Start workin' on the mendin' my dear! Chillax, watch that TV, eat those vittles that everyone is sending along. Talk soon. xo, Dana

  3. So great to hear from you directly! Sounds like you've been through hell and made it back, so from now on the only way is up!
    Even at your weakest, you still inspire others! Go Sarah!

  4. I'm so glad you're back in your home sweet home. Know that you have people all over who are thinking of you and sending love. I hope time passes as quickly as possible while you wait for your results- we'll all be waiting with you. And DI? I know he doesnt like the limelight, but he's going to have a hard time sneaking away without fans gushing over him. (Tell him I'll be sure to keep myself together in person.) You both and L are the epitome of love. I'll stop now, but I hope your hair is back to smooth and silky. Xo

  5. Glad to read you back on the Weeble. You guys are definitely a great team/couple/family. Fingers crossed the pathology comes back clean.

    -Eric W

  6. Whew! The worst is over. I know waiting for the all clear from the pathologists sucks even though you know the chance is less than tiny. I was surprised at how happy I was when that call came. So, now a little more rest and then we enter guilt free "fart around" with your friends time. I can do TV, movies, ice cream delivery, car rides, day up in Gloucester on our butts looking at water. I clearly have many gifts.....
    My thoughts, prayers, and love are with you, Dave, Janet and Lilah. Call anytime. Love, Auntie Ah